Adam's Shadowrun Quote Book
From Kent Adventure Gaming Society Wiki
Session One
"Thanks boss. Toodles." - Larry, to the head of a dangerous biker gang.
"He's not just dead. He's VERY dead." - Adam experiences Carnage Description Fail
Session Two
"Can I shoot the buffer?" - Jen expresses her dislike for floor cleaning equipment.
"There are men in big suits. I mean, there are big men in suits." - Adam gets his NPCs and their attire muddled up.
"There are flaming barrels with homeless people-"
"What, in the flaming barrels?" - Adam and Jen get scenery and NPCs a little confused.
Session Three
"We'll find you a rebound Contact, don't worry." - Hugh consoles Alan on his small points loss.
"Can I smoke?"
"Only when set on fire." - Jen points out the obvious to James.
"I've got enough food, so I don't need to call Creepy Joe." - James is playing a ghoul. Let's not ask.
"If he was working under me...uh, in a non-scary way..." - Jen realises what she said after she says it.
"How can you tell if you're on fire if you can't see?"
"Er...OW OW OW OW OW?" - James points out Jen's slight logic failure.
"You're like a really special walrus." - Hugh is intrigued by the Ork's tusks.
Session Four
"You've ruptured so many major organs that it's not even funny."
"Actually I think you'll find it's bloody hilarious. MWAHAHAHA!" - Adam thinks the NPC's injuries are bad. Roo disagrees.
"There's a guy stuck on the end of my arm!" - James has a bad experience with his claws.
Session Five
"The street samurai is making pancakes." - Adam is amused by Jen's use of downtime.
"I feel no particular urge to eat her." - James is pleased that his ghoul's composure roll succeeds.
"Look! Cyberwear helps open Pringles packages!" - James is impressed by Jen's abilities.
"Tell me what I want to know! Tell me what I want to know or I CRUSH YOU!" - Nathan gets subtle with the bereaved widow.
"Ghoul lawyers...we devour your problems!" - James has a great idea for a new home business.
Session Six
"My warehouse is not a circuit!" - James objects to Adam's combat diagrams.
"I'm an equal opportunity psychopath." - Hugh gets technical (about a different game, but still).
"You can have a point of Edge back for sheer badassery." - Adam is impressed with Alan's gunfire.
"I want to summon an Earth Spirit infront of them."
"Let me just roll their driving to see if they dodge.."
"An inch in front of them."
"...Oh." - James causes a traffic accident.
"I believe in the insurance industry we call that a write-off." - Nathan is an expert on damaging motor vehicles.
Session Seven
"When was the last time you ate?"
"I'm always eating! I have lots of hobos!" - Adam gets reassured on James' dining habits.
"I think I'll make jelly this week." - Jen gives consideration on how to spend her character's downtime.
"...this might lubricate our doors opening into the trade." - Nathan has a bit of a speech fail speaking to his boss.
"Hugh is not drunk."
"Neither is his character." - Roo gets specific with Adam's announcements.
"Purr for me! PURR FOR ME!" - Nathan gets a little enthusiastic about the van modifications.
"I'm just going into the bathroom for twenty minutes. And taking the gun with me." - Nathan gets...er, graphic.
"Does she have a liver?"
"Of course she has a LIVER!" - Hugh is curious about Jen's physiology but gets corrected by Adam.
"It is incredibly smooth on the wrists."
"You do have huge wrists."
"...WANKER'S CRAMP!" - Nathan, Adam and Hugh. The first two were talking about a customised gun.
"Yo! Gun-wielding maniac!"
"Yes?" - Nathan calls Hugh, and is answered...
"So if you had breast implants, you'd be dead." - James is intrigued by Jen's low Essence.
"Roll to hit. Being a wall, it doesn't get to dodge." - Adam remembers how reality works.
"I'm going to summon a water spirit in his LUNGS!" - James gets his destructive streak out.
"We're trying to take him down, you're not allowed to go down on him!" - James is not impressed by Jen's reaction to an NPC.
Session Eight
"How do I convince him it's genuine?"
"Er...roll your negotiation skill?" - Alan forgets what he does in this game, but Adam reminds him.
"Blowing shit for the win!" - Jen gets a little excited about the upcoming mission.
"I'm going to cling to the bottom of the helicopter, just for giggles." - Alan makes a dubious travel choice.
"Is she going to have a flashback?"
"Jen, you start having a flashback." - Roo is pleased to accidentally prompt Adam.
"I don't know what the verb is... 'to helicopter'..."
"Fly." - Adam has lingual fail, but Roo sorts him out.
"I'm not going to carry my boom stick on the ship. If it goes off, we'll sink." - Nathan is concerned about his gun.
"I'm doing chin-ups on the crane."
"I should really roll the crane's resistance..." - Nathan spends his downtime, and Adam is worried by it.
"I flip them a bird." (then, as GM gathers dice) "No, OH GOD, I didn't MEAN that!" - Hugh tries to be witty, then panics.
"You know, I do have a knife."
"It's okay. I've got a pencil." - Emily offers Adam assistance in getting his dinner open, but he's really okay...
"Unless I want to find some unimportant crewmembers and kill them, I've got nothing else to do." - James has his priorities right.
"Stop trying to ride me, Hugh!" - Roo is unimpressed by Hugh's attempts to become a dragonrider.
"Do you like odds or evens?"
"You know I like everything odd."
"TOO MUCH INFORMATION!" - Adam, Emily, and Hugh's reaction.
"You're a cheap hooker...and can I have some lemon cake?" - Adam should have put a pause in this sentence.
"There is a buffet in the corner-"
"NOM!" - Adam begins describing the room and Roo gets enthusiastic by the foot.
"Tell me this stuff in advance!"
"I was busy today!"
"No you weren't, you were playing Fallout!"
"You WHORE!" - Emily, Adam, Emily and finally a distraught Nathan.
"Does the hotel have a massage service? Cos if it does you're going to see naked troll butt!" - Nathan enjoys his expense account.
"I think I'm going to order an Abortion Special." - James is in the placenta bar. Don't ask.
"I'm in ur plot, breakin ur drugs."
"I'm in his world, breaking his megacorp." - James starts it, Nathan finishes it. All of it.
Session Nine
"Shadowrun is low budget sci-fi!" - James is pleased by the prop description.
"Hello, this is Tetra. I'm coming to get you as soon as I get a new torso!" - Roo gets into an NPC's skin.
"I can see the blueprints for this gun now...'death comes out of this end.'" - James gets technical.
"Bradislov is happy to work on your gun for you."
"Is that a euphemism?" - Adam replies to Jen and onlooker Craig gets confused.
"I've got scratches all up my arm! Oh wait...I just leaned on the table." - Jen has problems with her arms.
"Can someone install this guy a cyber-spine?" - Roo is annoyed by an NPC's jittery nature.
Session Ten
"Any cyberware to declare?"
"Everything!"
"Except her breasts..." - Adam as an airport NPC, Jen's honest answer and then James' clarification.
"What's your perception roll?"
"For being blind?" - Adam forgets James' character has a certain disability.
"Can everyone on the plane make a perception test?"
"To see if you see the snakes..." - Adam calls a standard dice roll and James brings Samuel L into it.
"A trio of people get up in front of you. Two men and a women. I mean a woman." - Adam has gender plurality fail.
"So do I get +2 for the room, or +2 for each person in the room..?" - Alan gets his mechanics muddled.
"I'm going to try to negotiate with the room..." - Alan is nothing if not ambitious.
"Your fire spirit can have another action."
"Set the fire on fire!" - Adam points out information to James, and Roo gets a little overexcited.
"Fire does not provide cover!" - Larry points out the (probably) obvious.
"I am not a fucking TomTom!" - Emily objects to the group's primary use of her technomancer skills.
Session Eleven
"Can I roll my love?" - Roo wants help in her dice pool to rescue Hugh's character.
"She gets Edge for love!" - James is amused by the later results of this scenario.
"Trask won't let me have it. Or the beer." - Roo is upset by another PC's reluctance to let her character...consume alcohol.
"She's dead!"
"Which one?"
"The dead looking one!" - Roo and Hugh discuss the logistics of corpse appearances.
"Katanas can cut through tanks! I saw it on the internet!" - Hugh asserts his knowledge base.
"I will understand the Japanese...with my prowess of Norweigan!" - Hugh crosses language skills.
"I'll hit the streets...with my face!" - Roo looks for information the unconventional way.
Session Twelve
"Cool, I look like Mister T!" - Larry is pleased by Jen's drawing of his character.
"Holy bag of dice...batman..." - Larry is startled by Emily's dice ownership.
"Wendigo special attack...faeces throwing!" - James is not impressed with an enemy's attack manouevre.
"The giant monster clomps over towards you-"
"Awww, it's so CUTE!" - Adam begins a description which Jen and Emily squee at.
"I would like to remove the roof please." - Roo takes a new approach to problem solving when in dracoform.
"Don't, you filthy person!" - Hugh pre-empts Roo's suspicious look.
"Does anyone have a map of LA?"
"Call the TomTom!" - Adam asks, and Roo knows Emily will answer.
"What's the password?"
"Habadashery!" - Adam as an NPC asks for information which James supplies (and gets wrong).
"It's a waterborn Millennium Falcon!" - Emily is delighted by the description of the blockade running (seafaring) ship.
"They've been freezing icicles...but they've been throwing icicles! BUT WHAT ABOUT THE ICICLES?" - James is dismayed by the physics of magic.
"Dice pig does not have herpes!" - Roo is indignant.
"No Dwarf-tossing!" - Larry is not impressed with someone's idea.
"Your ship will plow its way through the waters like a big...ship...thing..." - Adam has a slight Description Fail.
"Have you got your hat on?"
"Yes, I've got the hat on."
"And I've got my claws on!" - Adam, Hugh and finally a very hyperactive James.
Session Thirteen
"I can't remember where my memory roll is..." - Jen experiences many levels of Fail.
"You're crowding me, bro! Ever since you brought back my sentience you've been such a drag!" - Roo speaking for James' Wendigo and now cyber-zombied sister.
"James, you're not last."
"The block of C4 goes last!" - Adam reports initiative orders and Alan clarifies unnecessarily.
"We're a disabled friendly shadowrun team!" - Hugh is amused by Larry's unorthodox use of the van's drone rack.
"Sorry, I temporarily forgot what a failure was." - Larry does arrogance right.
"It's 2070-something WHY DON'T YOU HAVE RUN FLAT TIRES?" - Alan is frustrated by Larry's equipment list.
"What do you want to launch?"
"EVERYTHING!!!" - Adam asks and Larry...er, panics.
Session Fourteen
"May I see some ID please sir?"
"No, you may not. Rotor drone called shot to the head please..." - Adam as an NPC, and a very decisive Larry.
"Coffee chaff really doesn't work." - Larry decides not to keep coffee hidden in his drones.
"Less buffalo, more magical dogs that can breathe fire..."
"I want a puppy!" - Adam begins a description and Jen gets an idea.
"You've got the drones that can defile- I mean defend- the van." - Hugh has an Epic Speech Fail.
"There's cover, open ground, explosives and chaotic space that we don't know what's going on in."
"Larry, it's an AIRFIELD." - Larry explains his paranoia and then Adam clarifies it.
"Do we need to hire the van for more than one day?"
"Can't we hire it for one day and then steal it?"
"Dude!"
"Sorry, I had a GTA moment..." - Alan, and a slightly ashamed Hugh.
"What's your perception at -6?"
"I'm blind. ZERO." - James is annoyed by Adam's forgetfulness of physical disabilities.
"I turn round, gunslinger fashion, and shoot them...a fierce glare." - Hugh gets his other guns out.
"Do flash-bangs give me flashbacks?" - Emily is bewildered by her qualities.
"Odds or evens?"
"Both!" - Adam asks James for a decision, and doesn't get one...
Session Fifteen
"As long as we don't have any LESSER teams interfering with our work." - Hugh does arrogance. Right.
"I am NOT A FUCKING TOMTOM!" - Emily gets irate about her primary use to the group...again.
"So, what are we doing now?"
"You're playing Shadowrun. Pay attention." - Hugh is in character. Craig most definitely isn't.
"I'll become a man for you. Then we can both have a penis!" - Roo has had caffeine pills. Let's leave it at that.
"What is his face again?"
"The front of his head!" - Jen probably meant to ask for an identity, not an anatomical clarification, which Roo provided.
"How do you get into the sewers?"
"I'm a ghoul! I rip the cover off and if anyone asks I say WHAT? I'M A GHOUL! WOULD YOU RATHER I WALKED UP HERE?"
"Er...good point." - Adam and a slightly irate James.
"I'm going to get my dress ruined!"
"No you won't, Trask has a GOOD aim." - Jen is being sensible. Roo isn't.
"A blonde, a brunette and a haddock." - James gets creative in a brothel.
"Can I have Adrenalin Surge for being dead? I can be dead faster than anyone else!" - Hugh pushes his luck some more.
Session Sixteen
"Oh, I just forgot the word camera exists in the English language. I was going to say photography device..." - Larry has a fail.
"Your nano bullet can take her down faster than my zombie can. I mean than my drone can." - Larry has another fail.
"Did you get a spare run flat tire?"
"Can we give Alan a special point?" - Alan asks a stupid question, but gets credit for it.
"He's showing paternal interest."
"You cunt!" - Hugh explains his character's actions and Roo is upset for the reasoning.
"Yakamura has requested that he be meeted- er, met-"
"And my inner linguist bitch slaps you." - Adam has a language fail and Hugh is displeased.
"Past a partition and into a wall. I mean into a room." - Adam has ANOTHER language fail.
"He's injured! Medikitify him!" - James calls for help from a fellow player.
"It's not the size of your dice pool that matters, it's how well you roll it." - Roo comforts Larry on his small (but pefectly formed) gunnery dice pool.
"How strong is the smell of burning bear flesh?"
"It's a bear-b-que!" - Adam is being serious, Ryan interjects...less seriously.
"I'm going to grab her arm and lift her so she's dangling because, you know, I can." - James exercises his ghoulishness.
"Will you please STOP roleplaying in the middle of combat?" - Alan is dismayed by Emily's insistence on a composure roll.
"Now you see why Trask has to kill everyone in the first shot!"
"You lot are too busy being EMO!" - James and Hugh express annoyance at their group's shortcomings.
Session Seventeen
"I wondered why a man was armed with a twenty shot rocket launcher. It's not a man, it's a helicopter." - Adam has a bit of a whoopsie moment with an NPC.
"Next year's campaign: taking down Crona!" - James anticipates his character's growing megalomania.
"Blind fighting doesn't apply."
"Can't he CLOSE HIS EYES?" - Adam uses game rules while Allen tries some normal logic.
"Guys, is there jungle in Seattle?" - Roo's character is confused by the green stuff.
"I killed a wall, yay!" - Jen is happy with her grenade launcher.
"Do it! It will protect your fleshy bits!" - James offers valuable health and safety advice.
"Just so you know, the thing you're jacking into is worth 1.8 million."
"Awesome. That's going down in flames." - Adam fills Larry in on the helicopter he just stole, and Larry is pleased.
"Helicopter me, man!" - Larry wants stats for his newest toy.
"I am in despair! This game has put me in despair!" - Adam laments while citing a certain Anime...
"What is the collective willpower of a jungle?" - Adam wonders about an unusual dice roll.
"A shadow doesn't have a dimmer switch!" - James has an attack of the logic.
"So it's resisting seventeen plus fifteen plus seventeen...that's fifty points of damage to soak...oh, fuck it." - Adam gives up on dice rolls.
"Can I intimidate them into speaking English?"
"NO! THEY DON'T KNOW IT!" - Hugh takes a new approach to linguistics and is slapped down by Adam.
Session Eighteen
"How do I roll my gunnery pool?"
"You see where it says gunnery? You see where it says rank? You see where it says POOL?" - Larry gets character sheet confusion and is witheringly corrected by Adam.
"Everyone, right, everyone? Right? Okay...BOOOOOOOOOM!" - James is happy with a plan of his fire spirit.
"Can we take the cargo plane?"
"No, you VAPORISED the cargo plane." - Larry has an escape plan but, as Adam reminds him, everyone broke it.
"Can I upgrade my lifestyle from Squatter to Badass?" - James is spending his karma points.
"If you've got morphing license plates then why are you paying PARKING TICKETS?" - Allen is shocked at Larry's naivety.
Session Nineteen
"I don't deal with this Matrix rubbish."
"You're a RIGGER!" - Larry has logic fail.
"I don't have a backpack big enough for a Wendigo..." - However, James' logic is fine.
"What happens if I throw holy water on Chrona?"
"He get's wet." - Craig follows the trend of logic fails.
"Can I use Engineering to identify the sarcophagus?"
"No, you fucker!" - Adam demonstrates correct proportional response.
"I want to put the thing in the thing!" - Craig, coherent as always.
