Dave's WFRP Quote Book

Quote Book for Dave's Warhammer Fantasy RP (Wednesdays)

"Where are you going?"

[mispronounces town name]

"Go back upriver 400 miles and turn right." - Pip gets interesting directions from an NPC.

"Seems like a drunk talking to a pothead." - Jon is intrigued by some accents.

"He smells delicious." - Dave's NPCs have real stories behind them.

"I'm going to head over to him, and check he's okay, and rob him blind." - Simon gets the job done.

"I'm going to have to piss in the woods. That's annoying." - Kim disagrees with the group's travelling methods.

"He's got a spear. I'm a bit perculiar with spears..." - Baz explains why he's not fighting.

"I don't need whores, my Fellowship is 44...I'm going to go chat up some bar skanks." - Jon has a busy night ahead of him.

"Hang on, even if he's drunk, how can we distract him...?"

(Everyone stares meaningfully)

"What?" - Kim's character fails to grasp the importance of being the only female in the group.

"I don't think womanly wiles will work, what with being inside the locked bank..."

"And covered in poo." - Jon helps Kim explain why seducing the guard inside after climbing up through the toilet probably won't work.

"I don't want to stick a knife up his arse!"

"Don't then, go for the testicles!" - Simon helps Kim decide what to do if someone is on the toilet she's climbing up.

(Evil big-bad Necromancer in cave. Group hire cannon and engineer. Group wheel cannon up to mouth of cave. Cannon is loaded with grapeshot and lit.)

"Knock knock!"

(Cannon fires) - Simon gives the bad guy just enough time to look up from what he's doing.