Necessary Evil Quotebook

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Session One

  • "My daughter.... hang on, I haven't got a daughter..." - Gareth's dark secret is almost revealed (he has a son)
  • "Some of us, on the other hand, are evil and not psychotic" - Andrew explains why his character isn't insane.
  • "I need two (cards)" - Ask and tho shalt receive as Glenn hands him to two of clubs.
  • "Cower before me, evil V'Sori scum, as I defeat and leave you in an easily escapable trap" - Andrew gives up his first turn to ruin the element of surprise.
  • "Shocking, isn't it?" - Rodge begins with the electricity puns.
  • "He blasts open a door and a pigeon flies out"
  • "Ok, I get into my biplane with a perfect take off and.... smash through the roof." - Ed really wants to catch that Pigeon
  • "You can't parry an out-of-control aircraft coming straight toward you!" - Ian makes a sensible ruling as Ed makes another hole exiting the building.
  • "There is a message attached to its leg – 'Dear Dr. Destruction, things are going to plan, have sent favourite carrier pigeon'" - Ian gives Dastardly his due after the pigeon is machine gunned to a pulp.
  • "Does he kick Dastardly out of the plane?" "Yes, I think he does... I'm shaken" - Mutley attempts to kick Dastardly out of the plane at Louise's Suggestion
  • "Muttley, you lazy layabout! This is no time to take a nap: there are people shooting at us!.. And that's the end of my turn." - Ed is in a spot of trouble.
  • "Bring me some piranhas with lasers attached!" Andrew's elaborate trap making
  • "Team names... I've always liked dark... badger" Andrew struggles to come up with a team name other than Dr Devious and Associates.
  • "I had the dark crusade once. It wasn't pleasant." Ed reminisces.

Session Two

  • "I retract the insanity statement I made last week" - Andrew finally admits to his lack of sanity
  • "I can fit my car with a lair..." - Ed plans on building a new type of TARDIS
  • "This grenade will tell me where you are" - Andrew takes drastic measures to find Glenn's new invisible character
  • "Are you evil?" "Prove it - kill this person" *points at Ed* - Andrew and Rodge like to make the NPCs do their work for them
  • "That cell was assigned to take out a rubbish dump" - Ian confuses his characters' motives
  • "Now, now, no fighting unless there's an arena and I have 10% pay-per-view" - Andrew tries to profit on the action he can't be bothered to take part in
  • "I go to Rodge, get a grenade, fly above the crowd and drop it on them" - Louise tries to fit several round's actions into one move
  • "What is the attack then?" "I'm going to broadside them" - Ed crushes a squadron of drones with a single maneuver
  • "We're going forward, then reverse, then forward" - Ed needs to make sure the drones are really dead
  • "You can go 560,000 squares per hour" - Glenn calculates the speed of Ed's car (that's 466.6' per round if you want to know)
  • "Against all the odds, you go at your full speed, avoiding all obstacles... oh fuck it, we'll say they're squashed" - Ian gives up trying to calculate Ed's supercharged movement
  • "Roll for the V'Sori" "I get 36" "Roll for the drone" "I get 4!" "So you felled the mighty warrior and barely hit the drones" - Ian is amazed at Ed's selective targeting

Session Three

  • "It's like an onion - it has many lairs" - Ed appreciates the complexity of Louise's volcanic lair
  • "I can turn invisible" "Are you sure? I canno see this for myself" - Glenn baffles Rodge with his nifty gadgets
  • "Can we go to the park and have a picnic?" - Sam's decision results in the group being threatened by a tank
  • "I drive up to the tank, park parallel to it, and initiate a drag race" - Ed would rather race than deal with the immediate threat
  • "Fine, I won't chocolate finger you" - Ed is wrong in so many ways
  • "14! I'm going to drive doughnuts around the V'Sori, just to creep him out" - Ed is ineffective at combat, but great at showing off his driving skills
  • "So you're not going to turn around and look at the thing that just bit you?" - Andrew wonders whether Gareth knows in advance that he'll fail a perception check
  • "You turn around and see a creature made of metal with teeth half the size of its body, oh, and it looks like a giant rabbit" - Gareth's character is at risk of being eaten by the animals of farthing wood
  • "You hear a bang on the door" "I bang back" - Louise tries new methods of communication
  • "You feel a sharp kick in what would be the back of your chest... IN YOUR BACK!" - Andrew fails basic anatomy
  • "We use Sam as a net to catch Gareth's character" - No, this isn't cruelty to PCs
  • "I severely suggest you get a new paint job" - Ed's car is slightly scratched in the ensuing chaos
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